The event will take place on November 17th and with be open to the public and will run from 11:00AM – 11:50AM.  Here is a preview of some of my message I will be sharing at Kirkwood on November 17th:

• Leadership
• Community
• Networking

I feel fortunate enough to have been asked to join PPECI’s board of directors shortly after graduating from Coe.  This position has educated me in an area that I was fairly naive to begin.  Today, I not only consider myself a pro-choice supporter, but also a pro-choice advocate.  Let me tell you a little bit about what Planned Parenthood and Pro Choice mean to me.

I believe strongly in the education that Planned Parenthood provides and three things in particular.

1. I do not believe that abstinence only education is effective. I believe that “abstinence plus” education is effective. 
2. I believe parents should take an interest in their children’s futures
3. I believe that most people who are strongly opposed and those who strongly agree with Planned Parenthood have more in common than they care to let on.

The first and second point are fairly conjoined (pun intended).  In terms of education, our children need to be taught that abstinence is the only 100% effective way of preventing pregnancy and the transfer of sexually transmitted diseases.  The ONLY way.  Planned Parenthood teaches this.

However, our children defy our wishes in many ways.  Sometimes defiance is as simple as them staying out past curfew or sometimes it’s more complicated like skipping classes.  Whatever the case may be, we cannot monitor our kids at all hours of the day.  Because of the role parents play in their kids’ lives, they not only have a stake in the matter, they have influence as well.  Why would I believe a word my father says if he’s always lying to me?  Would I feel comfortable asking him questions or telling him the truth if I think he’ll either get mad or just won’t care? Probably not.  But influence comes with trust.  If your child trusts you, they are more likely to respond according to your wishes or to come to you for advice. 

It’s not easy and at times very (to millionth power) awkward to discuss sex with our kids.  But if you don’t discuss the topic with them, who will?  They will discuss it with their friends, of course.  I would much rather my daughter or son get their information from me rather than from their friends.  Sure, to some extent, you can control the friends your children hang out with, but what about when they’re at school?  I don’t say this to try and scare anyone, rather, I say it to be realistic.  Chances are, there are other people from TV, from school, from other organizations, etc., who our children will admire and who will influence them as well.  We need to, as parents, make sure that our children know they can come to us and trust us if they have questions.  In the case that we are failing to do this, Planned Parenthood is there, thereby empowering them to increase their likelihood to make better decisions. 

So we know that trust is important, let’s now turn to peer pressure.  We sometimes make bad decisions under peer pressure.  I want my kids to be ready to respond accordingly in pressured situations (or to avoid them completely when possible) and act upon their values and convictions rather than based on thoughts from the heat of the moment.  It’s much easier for people to make the right choice when they’ve thought about how they would respond, beforehand.  This is another reason why it’s so important to speak with your kids about the choices they make (this isn’t limited to this topic either).  If you don’t feel comfortable speaking with your children, that’s where a Planned Parenthood or some other trusted individual should be asked (by the parents to step in) to step in and speak with your kids. 

While I won’t say that I’m opposed to pre-marital sex, I will say that I will not advocate for it either.  This is a decision, again, where the parents should be involved in helping to shape the values and beliefs of their children.  I believe it’s highly preferable to engage sexually after establishing a loving, caring, trusting relationship with someone rather than as a random act.  What may have initially been meant as a good time, may turn into flaring emotions and heated discussions.  It saddens me to see friends go through this on occasion.  My kids will be taught, someday, that if they engage in random acts, that they will be flirting with emotional distress, not only for themselves, but for the other people involved as well. 

Now I get to the hairy part…  Abortion!  It feels as if I just typed a naughty word – but really it’s not.  Abortion, abortion, abortion.  This is actually the item I feel that many of those opposed to Planned Parenthood actually agree with us supporters and our mission.  Planned Parenthood would love to see a reduced number of abortions.  I’ll say that again: we want to reduce the number of abortions!  I’m not going to argue the ideology regarding whether or not a life is created at conceptions or at so many weeks, or whatever.  Peoples’ beliefs should be respected, but this is an answer we will never agree on.  But know this: having to make a decision of whether or not to have an abortion is a decision that NO ONE wants to have to make.  We agree on this. 

I think we have a tax system (unfortunately) that supports couples having children who have no business having children.  But to be perfectly honest with you, I’m not sure which is the lesser of the two evils: 1) providing tax relief to working mothers knowing that some will use the money on themselves or 2) not providing any money at all, making the burden on single mothers seemingly insurmountable.  In a way, money does buy happiness, though let me be very clear that money alone does not buy happiness.  I believe that most people are happier when they have more options.  The more money you have, the more options you typically have in terms of buying power.  After someone covers their essentials (food, shelter, clothing), the amount of money they have left over allows them more options to select the school they can send their kid to, their ability to purchase sports equipment or buy music, art, or dance lessons for their children…  Having less opportunity does not guarantee failure, but it does make it more likely that the next generation will also remain in an impoverished state.  There are certainly many examples of people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and having a life better than their parents’, but I’d be willing to bet that the success rate is much better for those who had more opportunity, and in some cases because of money (specifically tax breaks in this case).    I think many of us can agree on this. 

I don’t want to see children growing up in households where the parents could not take care of the child, let alone, themselves!  Oftentimes, these children are neglected, ignored, or abused.  I think that most of us can agree that this is not the environment that we want to see anyone raised!  I think some people recognize that they can’t raise a child, and choose to abort out of fear that they can’t possibly support themselves and a child.  There are foster services, but these aren’t always the greatest either.  Children who grow up in multiple homes oftentimes suffer emotional trauma moving from home to home in the course of just a few years.  But, I feel that the wrong reason to have an abortion would be based solely on the fact that it makes your life that much tougher.  That’s just pure selfishness.  But that’s about as far as I care to comment on that.  There are certainly many other reasons to have an abortion that fall into a much greyer area.

I don’t believe all foster homes are bad.  One of my good friends today was going to a party for a friend who permanently adopted a child.  This is AWESOME!  Someone decided to give life to a child and another decided to permanently love and care for that child.  I also want to point out that I could easily see my sister, who was born by my mom at age 17, could have easily been aborted.  For me, this would have been the greatest loss to my life.  Today, my sister is the most important person in my life and I’m happy for the decision my mother made.  But I don’t want the government meddling in my decision to give birth, nor do I want the churches.  Rather, I think it’s a personal choice.  I reiterate that the influences that we have in our lives shape who we are and the decisions we make.  The best case scenario would be for our parents to be those influences.  However, when parents aren’t available, or people are misinformed, it’s important to have an organization like Planned Parenthood there to educate people on their options. 

People have a right to know that abstinence is the best way to go to prevent pregnancy, but if you’re going to be sexually active, you need to know your options.  Abortion is an option, but it can cause complications down the road in terms of having children and is not always the best choice.  Both advocates for and against PPECI would like to see a reduced number of unplanned pregnancies.  But it starts with being properly educated, either through parents, peers, or Planned Parenthood, or worse yet, TV!  My first choice is parents.  But in the case that parents are misleading their kids or are not informing them at all, Planned Parenthood then becomes the best choice.  The most important thing is that we’re talking about it.  Silence is deadly.  The second most important thing is that we respect each others’ opinions.  If a parent wants to take their kid out of school because Planned Parenthood is coming that day, should have the right to do so, but I also think that the parent, in my opinion, in most cases, is making a very unwise decision.  It’s important that we respect one another for our beliefs.  This is why I believe in Planned Parenthood.

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The Good:

1. Committing to anything for a year, takes major commitment.  I have been challenged both mentally and physically.  Though I have not be stretched to the point where I give up, I have had to battle with the demons that tell me “get a cheeseburger.”  Sometimes, I give in, but it’s in moderation and only after careful deliberation.
2. Nothing is more important than good friends.  In fact, it’s through their encouragement from them and their efforts that this project exists.  Friends have made this easy to understand, friends have setup media opportunities, and friends have setup different volunteer opportunities.
3. I’ve started speaking to different groups!  I’m exposing different groups in the community to the idea of volunteerism and thinking big.  I don’t think any of us like to be told “you can’t.”  It’s time we focus on what we can do rather than trying to outline everything we can’t do. 

The Bad:

1. Keeping up with a blog is hard work!  I’ve spent literally HOURS  updating this site.  Sadly enough, I haven’t updated it as often as I would have liked.  Is it worth it?  Right now, I’m going to say so.  It’s my way of documenting the journey and sharing my experiences with others.  Hopefully other people out there have been inspired from what they have read.
2. Sacrifice is needed.  I don’t always get to go out to eat.  I gave up both regular softball and volleyball for the year, though I’m happy to report that I did play some softball in July!

The Ugly

1. My Room and Car!  I’m not keeping my residence as clean as I’d like.  My room is a mess.  If I lost something in there, good luck finding it.  I’m practically living out of my car.  I’ve got workout clothes, work clothes, and other misc. items in there. 
2. Connectivity with my friends: Now, this is more my fault for poor time management rather than the project just taking up my time.  Since I’m not going out as much, if at all, I’m not finding alternative methods of hooking up with friends.  Thankfully, they’re reaching out to me. 

So three months down and nine to go.  Something tells me there are going to be quite a few more growing pains yet, but so much more memorable and humbling experiences.  My attitude is positive, my drive is steadfast, and my dedication unwavering.  I’ve committed for one year, and I’m not quitting on myself, I’m not quitting on you, and I’m not quitting on my community.